If You Got a Spliff Then Put it in the Air

Mom allegedly lets toddler smoke pot

Full Lunar Disappointment

I positioned myself on the couch right under the living room window at 9 p.m. Perfect view of the moon. Every ten minutes I wrested myself from Law and Order reruns, Oliver!, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, and Wife Swap to walk out onto the front porch to check the moon. It was truly awesome watching the Earth's shadow creep bit by bit, slowly draping the moon in fuzzy black. I couldn't wait for the finale, supposedly at 11:04 p.m., when the moon would turn bright copper, catching and bending a few straggler rays of sunlight. At 10:52 clouds like cotton balls rolled into New Haven. 11:05 and all I can see now is the clouds fronting the moon go from from brightly illuminated to dimly reddened.

Bah.

That Next Next

This is called beating a dead horse. At this point every blogger and his/her mom has posted the link to the video* for Eminem's new song, "Mosh." But, after watching it thrice and thinking hard on it, I've come to the conclusion that it really is worth being posted for the umpteenth time. I also re-thought what I said in Pop Life's comments about it being animated. At first I was ambivalent. I realize now, though, that artistically, it was a hot way to go about it. This really beats 99 Problems. Yup, I said it.


*Hang in there. That might take a helluva long time to load.

***BREAKING NEWS***

...Developing...

It seems that teen star Lindsay Lohan has been hospitalized with a "mystery" illness. Working 'round the clock on movies, t.v. appearances and magazine shoots landed the young workhorse in a Los Angeles hospital. Until doctors know what is plaguing our phenom actress and she is returned to work on her upcoming opus, Gossip Girl, "a comedy about the girl who seems to have everything, but actually doesn't," the quarterwit blog is suspending all coverage of events not related to Lindsay Lohan.

Hang in there, Linds, we here at the quarterwit news organization are pulling for you!

please bookmark the following sites for ongoing Lindsay coverage:

Lindsay Lohan dot org
LL Rocks!

Support Lindsay!! Purchase Mean Girls widescreen edition DVD here!

Us: 1, Them: 0

2 dudes (see above) toss pies at Ann Coulter during an Arizona speaking engagement.

Annie Get Your....

She went on up the stairs to her room and took off her dripping clothes. Connie came in as she started undressing. "Go away, Connie, leave me alone." She took off her dress, her petticoat, her corset, her stockings. Even her lacy undershirt and drawers were wet, clinging to her body before she stripped them off. Standing naked she opened the volume on the bedside table and took out the letter she had put there earlier. The note was short. "Helen, my joy, and my beloved," it began...

The above is from the book, Sisters, the steamy 1981 novel about women on the American frontier, authored by Lynne Cheney, the wife of Vice President Dick Cheney. See more excerpts here.

Baker's Dozen: My Weekend Wrap-Up

(see number one)

The rules are: You have to come up with twelve thoughts and one picture (totaling 13) to describe your weekend. Try using quotes, events, links to blog entries and websites, etc.

1. Yes, hiking. The Tower Trail: 1.5 miles each way. Yes, nature.

2. Jon Stewart drops 'bows on Crossfire. Like whoa.

3. Best movie ever ever? Alvy Singer: My grammy never gave gifts. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.

4. WWJD?. (It has come to my attention that Macaulay Culkin peaked at age 8, btw).

5. Autumn-y drunkeness.

6. Not one, but 2 meals.

7. Got all up in this blog beef.

8. Rolled my eyes at other blog beefs.

9. Decided to let a neighbor keep his Bush/Cheney sign intact and on his lawn. (My mom: Honey, this is America. He can put whatever he wants on his lawn).

10. Had November 2 anxiety dreams.

11. Received in my new issue of the New Yorker my election night advent calendar-- a page with red stickers with an elephant and blue stickers with a donkey to stick on as states go blue or (gulp) red.

12. This Mos Def freestyle. Seriously, though, what is beef?

Do/Should Prison Rape Victims Have a Voice?

I was reading this article in the Times about Roderick Johnson, a gay inmate in a prison in Texas who was raped and brutalized repeatedly by other inmates throughout his term. I realized that I have no concept of this issue-- same sex / prison rape-- other than the occasional article in a newspaper or magazine. Besides your basic "don't bend over in the shower" jokes, I don't think we really have a discourse going on same sex and prison rape, at least in the mainstream. Clearly none of us are strangers to conversations on male-female sexual assault in all its variations-- rape, date rape, rape as a weapon of war, sexual abuse, sexual harrassment and so on. What is interesting is that some of the same issues come up-- prison officials suggesting that he was "enjoying" the assault, which of course is a variation on the "you asked for it" argument. And, like any rape victim, Johnson is suffering from post traumatic stress disorder...

Is this an important issue-- something to organize around, or are people in prison thrown to the dogs, to so speak, to fend for themselves? Do we expect and accept that as convicted criminals, inmates must live in and adapt to a new society that is governed by its own rules and values?

(A tangentally related issue here is same sex rape. Again, not something we have a discourse on because it is too "taboo" to talk about, but yet clearly happens).

Fucking Fuck Nader

See above.

For a cogent argument on Nader, please see Jay Smoothest's two cents. I'm not trying to re-invent the wheel here.

The Debate in Kind of Real Time

9:02: Skeletor is the moderator
9:07: Bush is straight manic-- giggly and goofy like a little school girl. On uppers
9:10: Kerry's eyes have yet to open all the way.
9:12: The moderator is undead.
9:14: Bush addressed the moderator as "Bob." Can we have confirmation that that is actually his name?*
9:17: First time in history a presidential candidate mentions "ceiling fans" in a debate.
9:23: Bush just went "Woooo!"
9:26: Question: Is homosexuality a choice? Bush: I don't know. I just don't know.
9:27: Rethink my sexuality. Decide to be straight
9:28: Kerry mentions Cheney's daughter. Yes! Kerry says the word "lesbian." Yes! Kerry says "it's not choice." Yes! Kerry says "marriage is between a man and a woman." D'oh. But still.
9:30: Kerry can't legislate an article of faith. Zing!
9:30: I re-read the last two lines and realizes that I'm slightly biased.
9:33: Dude, abstinence is for Republicans. Fuck that noise.
9:47: Bush's eyebrows move independently of each other.
9:55: Bush makes the point that any Mexican "worth his salt" would want to come here to make more money than he could in Mexico. He then explains how he would close our borders to said Mexicans.
9:59: On immigration: Bush makes the argument that Kerry "just doesn't understand" and then follows it up with the rock solid argument: "We will continue to protect the borders." This reminds me of the SNL skit with Dana Carvey playing W's father debating Dukakis. Carvey's Bush's arguments devolve into just repeating the phrase "Stay the course" and "a thousand points of light" in response to any question that stumps him.
10:07: The word "resolute." Everybody drinks!
10:09: Gun control comes up. I roll my eyes. I wonder if there Is there a new Law and Order on tonight?
10:14: I realize this debate isn't as exciting as the others. See the sequel is always WEAK.
10:16: Bush: "I pray for wisdom." Pray harder.
10:17: Bush: "We should love our neighbor like we love ourself." Ourself?

*It is, I just Googled it.

Two Ninety Minutes Hate

It's getting straight Oceania up in this bitch:

Republicans Plan Anti-Kerry Documentary

The Democratic National Committee has filed a formal complaint with the Federal Election Commission over Sinclair Broadcast Group's plans to air a program in prime time accusing John Kerry of betraying American POWs during the Vietnam War.

Democratic Party Chairman Terry McAuliffe says it's "extraordinary that someone can go out there and pre-empt regular television.

"If people want to pay -- pay-per-view -- [to] watch [a] documentary, that is their right. To go out and pre-empt regular broadcasting to put out a 90-minute attack against a presidential candidate is absolutely outrageous and it's illegal," says McAuliffe...

...Sinclair Broadcast Group operates 62 local stations around the country, including stations in battleground states such as Ohio, Florida, Iowa and Wisconsin.* It insists there's nothing wrong with airing the program, "Stolen Honor: Wounds that Never Heal."

*Yeah, emphasis mine.

Martha Stewart and the Wests Cornel and Kanye

Stewart having a 'good time' in prison.

The above is not a headline from the Onion. Neither is the following quote from the article linked above: Martha Stewart reportedly spent her third day in prison playing scrabble and charming her fellow inmates.

Speaking of abdurdative, I have now read or heard Cornel West reference Kanye West as some kind of hip-hop savior several times. He does it once here, in an interview for Africana.com, talking about his (Cornel's) upcoming album, Street Knowledge. He says:

It'd be like Curtis Mayfield, Gil Scott-Heron — the last poets of 1960s — you know, or Stevie in the '70s, where you could actually make money and also unsettle people and increase consciousness. But right now, I think we're moving in that direction. I think Kanye West and others are signs, actually. But we're gonna see whether they can be sustained.

I don't understand where West gets this idea that Kanye is some kind of positive force, politically and/or socially, for hip hop. I realize that Dr. West is a religious man or at least puts a lot of stock in the power of faith for communities, and I know that "Jesus Walks" is certainly a popular song, but I don't see Kanye as someone who "unsettles people" or "increases consciousness." Am I missing something?

In this article he is quoted as saying, "We don't need anymore constantan Hip Hop artists, but more poetic Hip Hop artists who speak about making a difference, like Kanye West." Unless Kanye is on a consiousness-raising speaking tour that I don't know about, Dr. West is referring to Kanye's music, no? College Dropout hardly strikes me as 1) poetic or 2) at all concerned with "making a difference." (I'll give you "All Falls Down").

Can anyone tell me why Kanye is Cornel West's go-to when dropping names of conscious rappers? And I thought Sasha Frere-Jones referring to Kanye as the man who could save hip-hop was pushing it....

EDIT
I should've known something was up when Dr. West appeared as "Councillor West" in The Matrix Reloaded...I do think that some people get so brilliant that they straight outwit themselves and run out of things to think about. Could it be that Cornel West has become intellectually and artistically unglued?

R.I.P.

This is no fantasy - no careless product of wild imagination.

My most vivid childhood memories, in order:

1. Superman II
2. Superman III
3. Superman

Wake the Fug Up

I never, ever find blogs I like to read. The only ones I like, let alone can STAND are listed stage left. (And some of those I don't even like, I just like to keep up...) There are the hipsters who tell you what is up in the world of bars on the lower east side, gossip whores who try to be as amusing as Uncle Grambo, hip hop bloggers who try to be as astute as Jay and news-y types who try to be as on point as 1115.org. We all know these blogguhs' stilos can't be duplicated. But every now and then I come across something I'm really glad I found. And then I become obsessed. My newest obsession is Fugging it Up. The broads are so goddamn funny-- their observations are hilarious. Definitely a worthwhile island is a sea of meaningless e-garbage. Holy shit.

You Have 90 Seconds to Right the Ship that is All But Capsized, Mr. Vice President

you tell me who's prettier.

Last night's Cheney v. Edwards match was maybe the most exciting fight since fifth grade when I stood on the lunch table and yelled "fight, fight!" A few observations (thanks to Milo and Noixe)-- other than that the moderator, Gwen Ifill, showed up in a royal blue bathrobe with shoulder pads-- are ennumerated below.

1. Cheney is shut down by the moderator several times. My favorite: "I'll need more than 30 seconds to respond to that." Gwen: "Well, that's all your getting."

2. The gay marriage question. Edwards brings up Cheney's gay daughter "I think the Vice President and his wife love their daughter very much..."-- yes! Hot, hot heat. He uses her as an intro to his mini-speech about the Kerry-Edwards gay marriage platform. He accuses the Bush administration of using the Constitution as a political tool to divide the American public and suck focus from issues like jobs, healthcare and Iraq. The result:

Cheney's response: Let me simply thank the Senator for his kind words about my family.
Gwen: That's it?
Cheney: That's it.

This cat knows policy, kids! Apparently Cheney's kryptonite is his daughter. Bring her up, he is rendered powerless to make a cogent argument.

3. Cheney's head is sewn to his collar. His neck was absentee.

4. When Cheney points out Edwards' "undistinguished" record in Senate, Edwards responds by pointing out the measures Cheney has voted against: Head Start, Meals on Wheels for senior citizens, Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday and a resolution calling for release of Nelson Mandela. Edwards: 1, Cheney the Baby Eater: 0

Maybe I'm biased. I don't know, sometimes I lean to the left a little bit.